Here Is 7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust
in a relationship? Often, what really makes a
relationship work are not the things we think of first.
For instance, do you think you always need to
spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important
than variety in a relationship.
The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your
connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

1) You need to be predictable.
This goes against the common notion that you need to
“stir things up” to keep the romance alive.
Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a
surprise gift can be nice, but most of all,
we need things to be consistent and steady in order
to make our relationships work. Consider that trust
in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

2) You need to make sure that your words always
match the message. This means that your partner needs
to hear the words which match your body language.
f you say you are happy but you are frowning,
your partner doesn’t hear your words,
he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice.
Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying.
When the words match the message,
you build trust in a relationship.

3) You need to have a fundamental belief in your
partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have
the trust in a relationship that you need.
When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.
When you do not believe that your partner is
competent at some things (or indeed, anything),
you violate the trust in a relationship.

4) Don’t keep secrets.
Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship.
Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will
eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy
on your part. That is energy that could be going
into building the relationship.

5) Don’t be afraid to let your partner know what
your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need.
Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as
long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant
to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite
direction and smother your partner.

6) Learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs,
that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything.
A partner cannot respect you if you never say no.
Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will
actually builds trust in a relationship.

7) Always pursue growth. When you plant a flower,
you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our
relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain,
we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil,
crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change.
Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship,
you are bound to encounter a little pain. But,
as you work through this pain, you will not only become
stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair And Restoring Trust

Can you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated?
Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship.
But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable
if both parties really want to work on it.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment
in attitude and actions. Even after an affair,
it is possible to save a relationship.
But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which
allowed you to stray. There may be something at the
relationship’s core that is diseased.
But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed?
Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you?
Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary
relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it?
Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often,
that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the
underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into
couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough.
The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not
in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small
promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out
every evening, do it. And, do it consistently.
When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things,
a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger
picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant
reassurance that you have changed.
This means that you are going to need to apologize more
than once over time. You will also need to treat the
recurring comments about the violation of trust as
a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach.
If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the
indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly
guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship
you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident.
Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as
individuals and for the relationship to mature.
Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken,
a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time.
It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions.
But it is possible to heal the divide and be a
stronger couple as a result.

Here is the book I use for advice
Magic Of Making Up